


IT GETS LONELY SOMETIMES

by cooloddball



Series: DESTIEL FIRSTS, CONFESSIONS AND TRUTHS [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, post 15x09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25607989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cooloddball/pseuds/cooloddball
Summary: What happens when Dean and Cas have a heart to heart after a difficult hunt?
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: DESTIEL FIRSTS, CONFESSIONS AND TRUTHS [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932199
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80





	IT GETS LONELY SOMETIMES

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This fic can be read on its own but for those who want to see how the story ends, read the entire series.

They had come home; the bunker, from a hunt. A hunter in Maine had called them with the news that he knew of a witch in Wisconsin that knew about of a rare object from the old gods that could kill Chuck. They were desperate so they had gone to meet with the witch but it had been a trap, shocker, a pack of werewolves had been waiting for them somewhere in Wisconsin and had ambushed them. Sam, Dean and Cas had overpowered them but not before Dean had been hurled across the room and gotten a gushing wound on his head.

  
“Dean, you are hurt, let me heal you,” Cas said for the umpteenth time as he walked towards Dean where he was standing near the refrigerator getting three beers.

  
“Beer?” Dean asked. Cas did not know whether Dean had not heard him or if he had and was ignoring him.

  
“Dean,” Cas’ voice rumbled and Dean walked to the kitchen table and sat on the bench. Cas sat next to him looking at Dean’s profile, he could see the open wound now sitting hideously on Dean’s forehead, the blood had long clotted but it looked bad.

  
“Cas, it isn’t as bad as it looks. I’ve had worse,” Dean said sliding a beer to Cas. Cas ignored it. Sam walked into the kitchen rolling the sleeves of his flannel.

  
“I’m going to bed guys. I need to rest after…everything,” Sam said taking the other beer sitting in front of Dean. Dean gave him a stink eye that said ‘get your drink Sammy’ but Sam ignored him. He patted Cas on the shoulder as he walked out of the kitchen towards his bedroom, Cas grunted in acknowledgement and turned to look at Dean. Their eyes met. Cas could see the defeat that in those beautiful green eyes looking into his equally defeated blue ones.

  
“Cas, your powers are failing…and…and we have to defeat Chuck. We need every bit of help we can get. Your mojo included. I won’t let you waste it on me,” Dean said as he took a swig of his beer and then another one and side-eyed Cas.

  
“Dean, I know Chuck is important but we will find a way to defeat him. But if you are not in good shape when that time comes, then what even is the point of me being here? With you? And Sam? And Jack? I consider myself your guardian, Dean. Besides, me losing my “mojo” as you call it would be worth it, remember Billy called you and Sam messengers of God’s destruction, and I think my role in all this is to help you, Dean…and Sam and Jack. Watch over you. Besides I’m not only an angel but a hunter too, I learned from the best. So you don’t worry about me.”

  
Dean stared at Cas, scanning his face as if searching for something, and then chuckled his sad eyes now smiling, “Okay, Cas I can’t argue with that. Besides, you did raise me from perdition.”

  
“Dean,” Cas said giving Dean a soft look that for some reason made Dean’s heart thump faster in his chest. Cas then raised his left hand and gently laid two fingers on Dean’s temple, Dean leaned into it. The wound and the blood were gone before Cas even retrieved his fingers. Dean had seen him wince from the use of his grace, he was tempted to ask him why his powers were failing but he figured tonight was not the time.

  
“Thanks, Cas. You…you…nevermind,” Dean said taking another swig of his beer and realized that the bottle was empty, he chuckled then got up to walk to the fridge to get another beer.

  
“You can have mine,” Cas said sliding his unopened beer to Dean.

  
“No, I want to share a beer with you Cas, we are friends aren’t we?”

  
“Yes but you know it just tastes like molecules to me Dean.”

  
“When has that ever stopped you?”

  
“You have a point.” They smiled and Dean walked toward the fridge.

  
Dean came back with an opened beer and took his position next to Cas, again. Since purgatory, their relationship had taken a different direction, one of mutual understanding and trust that hadn’t been there before.

  
“To defeating Chuck and to us for ganking those werewolf sons of bitches,” Dean raised his beer to Cas who was opening his now warm beer. Cas nodded and they clinked their bottles and took swigs from their respective bottles.

  
They drank their beers in silence but none of them seemed to want to leave their positions. It was comfortable silence and Cas took off his trench coat and sat it on his lap. Dean looked at him and smiled.

  
“Do you regret it? This life? Being a hunter?” Cas asked as he took another swig of the beer without looking at Dean. It did taste like molecules.

  
“Sometimes,” Dean said. Cas huffed. “You know, I can’t imagine my life without being a hunter. What would I be, a mechanic? Knowing that I save people and kill monsters. Knowing that I make the world a better place even though I never get paid for it unlike my earth 2 doppelganger, it makes me happy. Even though I have died a gazillion times been to hell, purgatory, heaven, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And I also got to meet you. Wink. But…”

  
“But?” Cas asked Dean as he stared intently at his profile as if studying him.

  
“But it’s lonely, knowing I don’t have anyone to come home to you know.” Dean licked his lips in that sexy way where he would dart his tongue out to wet his lips and then pull it back between his teeth leaving his lips moist and plump. It was beautiful.

  
“But you have Sam,” Cas reasoned.

  
“Yeah but that’s not what I mean. He has Eileen. I know she left but I also know that she will come back. They love... well, they like each other. Me on the other hand, I am a 41-year-old man. I don’t have kids or a girlfriend like Sam. I never could bring myself to have that again after Lisa.”  
“I remember.”

  
“So…that part sucks.”

  
“You have me, Dean. You will always have me.”

  
“Cas.”

  
“Dean. You know I will never leave you, only in death.”

  
“I know,” Dean said as he brushed his pinky to Cas’. Cas looked at their hands and intertwined his pinky with Dean’s, they looked at their hands, then at each other. Cas smiled. Dean frowned. Then Dean detangled his pinky from Cas’ and pulled away as if he was on fire and got this look in his eyes. _Panic_.

  
“Cas, in purgatory you never let me say what I was going to say,” he said as he scratched the back of his head even though he did not have an itch there.

  
“I heard your prayer Dean, and we were running out of time, Sam and Eileen were in trouble with Chuck so I couldn’t let you get trapped in purgatory again and not save your brother because of me.”

  
“Yeah but I need to say it now,” Dean said as their eyes locked.

  
“Okay.”

  
“I have these feelings. Had. Dammit. I’ve had these feelings about you…for you for a while. Years maybe.”

  
“Feelings?”

  
“You know like I want to kiss you sometimes. But…,”

  
“But you can’t because I am in a male vessel?”

  
“No. yes. I don’t know. My dad…he told me that real men don’t kiss other men. He..uh...found something and started suspecting that there was something more between and my friend Lee.”

  
“Lee?”

  
“It’s a long story Cas. Which ended with him dead. Recently at least. The point is, men, don’t kiss other men. Or have feelings for them. I...uh...I need to go,” Dean said looking at Cas’ pinky which was still somewhat stretched as if reaching for Dean’s, and stood up. Cas stood up with him, his trench coat falling to the floor but he didn’t seem to notice.

  
“Dean, wait!” Dean stopped in his tracks. “You know I’m indifferent to sexual orientation, right? I am not a man. Well, I am in a male vessel but I am an angel. I do not have a gender or sexual orientation. If you want to kiss me. Then kiss me. But don’t let this body or your dad, stop you from living your life. We don’t know how much time we have left with Chuck out there.”

  
The whole time Cas was talking Dean was facing the exit while Cas stood behind him looking at the nape of his neck. Dean turned slowly and their eyes locked. Something soft flashed in Dean’s eyes and Cas smiled. Cas licked his lips in that way where he flashed the tip of his tongue on his lower lip and then back into his mouth again.

  
“I feel the same way Dean, you know,” Cas said his blue eyes searching Dean’s. Dean blushed his cheeks turning rosy. “You deserve to be happy Dean or at least ki..” mmph

  
Before he knew what was happening, Cas felt Dean’s soft lips land on his. At first, their lips were just connected brushing against each other, then he felt Dean’s tongue lick his lips and he opened up and that’s when their lips sought each other, his on Dean’s, Dean’s on his, and their tongues danced together. Cas tasted like beer, honey and warmth. Dean tasted like love and beauty and molecules. As their kiss deepened and their moans filled the room, Dean moved his left hand to cup Cas’ nape and brought him closer so their bodies were pressed together as their mouths explored each other without a care in the world their right pinkies intertwined.


End file.
